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Callan

Back to the Good Life

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About seven months ago, my life was so amazing. I could afford pretty much whatever I wanted, I had a girlfriend who at the time I was happy with, a job I loved, and friends wherever I turned. Then I asked myself why I deserved any of this, and I guess I didn't.

It started when my father and I got into a fight. By the end of the night, I walked out, and that would be the last time I saw or spoke to him for a half of a year. I wouldn't even acknowledge that I even had a father, if someone asked me about him I'd just shrug and shake my head.

A little while after I found that my girlfriend hadn't quit smoking pot like she told me. In fact she still smoked, and she picked up more wonderful new habits. I gave her a week to get help and get clean. The week turned to two weeks, then a month. She didn't even show any interest in quitting. So I quit her. I almost felt like nothing ever meant anything between us, like it was all some kind of fantastic lie. I didn't get it.

I started showing up late to my job, and I have to admit, this is where I started falling into a disgusting spiral of self-pity and soon enough, deep depression. Some stupid bitch started working at my job as a manager-in-training, who was by title, still equal with me. Until an "MIT" becomes an assistant manager that person is still paid the same as low level management such as myself. She didn't like the fact that she couldn't tell me what to do. I told her numerous times to mind her own business and do her own job, she didn't like that.

Eventually I had someone calling me from HR asking about some kind of incident. Unfortunately, there was no such incident and I was being reported for sexual harassment, which is definitely not me at all. I told them this never happened and whoever was reporting me was without any doubt in my mind, making it up. Next day I had another call from HR. This one was about another incident, again fake, never happened. However the person from HR did say that this complaint was filed by a different person.

When it really came down to it, this new MIT really just wanted me out, so she got a bunch of part-timers to file reports on me. I then filed a report on her, for fraternization with part timers (which was taboo as a manager). I then had to speak with my GM about this mess, just so I could let her know that this was all a load of crap. Unfortunately, a week after that discussion I found myself on the receiving end of a phone call that informed me I was no longer employed. Turns out they favor anyone with a two year degree from idiot community college over someone who's been there for over a year.

I spent three months unemployed, locked in my room, missing all my monthly payments. I turned off my phone, put up black curtains and painted my room black. I wanted nothing to do with anyone or anything anymore. I spent a week contemplating suicide. Never happened (obviously).

About a month ago I wrote up a list of things that I needed to do to get back on track. First thing was that I needed to be a bigger man and end the feud with my father. So I called him. First time I actually talked to someone for more than 30 seconds in a long time.

Next, I had to get out of my house and find a psychologist. It was my turn to get help. I've been seeing her weekly for a little while now.

Other things on my list include getting back together with old college friends, finding a date for my cousin's wedding, starting a band, saving up money, finding a better job (because right now I'm working 2 part time jobs), and going back to college.

As of right now I am pulling a band together, I have called a few friends from college and last night I did get a date for the wedding.

I'm also adding a new one to it today. "Talk to that girl at the store." She's a cutie. =P

Anyway, I'm on the road to recovery and I'm feeling (yes, I can do that again) a thousand times better.

Oooh, also. just thought of it now, "Quit drinking"

So what pulled me out of it? By chance I found an old Weezer album, Pinkerton. And when I listened to "The Good Life" I guess I just realized I need to get my life back together and get back out on the floor as Cuomo might put it.

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Comments

  1. Neomackenzie's Avatar
    I don't know you well, but I hope you will recover fast! Life is a big big party!! Enjoy it!
  2. GekkoPixie's Avatar
    It seems many people I love have had their lives fall apart recently - mine included. I am really happy to hear that things are improving, after all you've been through. Congratulations, and well done for being strong enough to get where you are now.
  3. Reynold Wrapped's Avatar
    oh shit i was hoping that this was a reference to weezer and it WAS YAY

    uh don't really know what to add to this but to congratulate you on the fact thatyou are pulling your life back together -- that is commendable. i really hope you get it back how you want it. if you ask me though, i think the only thing you really need to really help you through hard times is a friend who can stand by you, and listen to you when you need someone to talk to, etc. maybe that's your dad, maybe not. but you should find someone like that and make the most out of life.

    good job.

    also obligatory pinkerton is the best weezer album ever.
    also, digression, but that's kind of like how rivers had his life fall apart after pinkerton and put it back together by green.
    also, digression, but have you heard the red album it is awesome.