Review - Nickelback - Rockstar
Recently while riding the tram to work at my job as a banker manager, I heard a youth listening to some kind of music by the Nickle Backs. I asked if I could share in the melodies with him, and he grudgingly obliged.
The sounds that accosted my ears were strange yet wondrous. When I returned home that evening, I downloaded the song using the lime wires. The song is comprised of a distorted zither riff which repeats over the growling vocals of the lead singer Henry Kruger.
The band originally formed as a front for their days as notorious swimming bath robbers. After stealing from a new york pool, they began playing their instruments as a means of disguising their true intentions. However, to the dismay of the Federal Bureau of Investigation they were signed that very night, as they played a small jazz quartet by the pool while their bassist (not needing to actually play any notes) smashed open the till and stole the money, still wet from the day’s exchange.
There were some critical reviews, such as “Urgh. Listen to that smashing sound, is that what a bass sounds like? That’s horrible!”
The Nickelbacks then soared to fame, back in 1963. Touring with such bands as BGs and the Stolling Rones, a Portuguese Beatles Tribute band.
Their latest single ‘rock star’ is about their recent economic plummet. Band treasurer and drummer Patrick Skywalker lost all his shares, when Irish loan shark company ‘Northern Rock’ exploded when an oven was left on late at night.
Now destitute, the band began to sing of dreams they had about being rich and famous. Something which they never managed to achieve the first time around, ranking 97th in Vanity’s Fairs “Top 10 Gayest Things” and being on Kofi Annan’s personal “shitlist”. This song represents all the dreams they were never good enough to achieve, and now are unable to since they all have broken arms (plus one of them has a bad leg).
The song is played live using a variety of foot pedals, and the vocals are sung using a complex xylophone like instruments which are scalloped in order to sound just like a human voice.
I give this review 9 out of 1.
since this thread is golden and i don't want to ruin the fun, i'll allow spammy comments. but don't overdo it.