View Full Version : Game Review: Orange Box Part 2: Team Fortress 2

13th February 2008, 12:02 AM
Well I think I copped out on my last review, but I really wanted to get it over with so I can get to the big honcho of the Orange Box. Team Fortress 2.

Now, I donít recall playing TF1, but I do recall seeing it at some point. It was a hell of a lot more innovative than Counter Strike, and TF2 goes above and beyond Counter Strike source. Rather than just porting everything that was in its predecessor like some two-bit hack, they actually added new elements to the whole game. They threw in a new art style and character personality.
With FPS games, online or otherwise, you donít get much of one or the other, especially the latter. With Unreal Tournament you got a bunch of burly looking men on steroids, or disproportionate women wearing equally disproportionate armor. With Counter Strike you got Swat Gear, or ďTerroristĒ gear which basically consisted of a bullet proof vest, a green sweater, or winter gear (oh and a ski mask, which BOTH sides wore anyways). With TF2 you get a whole new cartoon-like art style with an engine that was designed to be realistic. It shows what the range that the HL2 engine is capable of, and actually makes it fun. Amongst the corpse teabagging, rocket jumping, spy backstabbing fun they added several new gameplay elements.

You can have a Nemesis for being killed one too many times by a particular player. You get nice zoom inís on people that have killed you, stats to keep track with, achievements, voice clips for your character that play when youíre kicking too much ass, music that plays in opportune moments, critical shots, and the list goes on. They did what sequels to games should do, which is build on the existing structure of the game. The range of the characters allow for hours upon hours of play without ever getting bored. If you get sick of one particular character, or ďroleĒ, you can easily switch and just go nuts. Just for kicks you can switch things up. Iíve seen medics clear out troops of heavy infantry with a well-timed surprise attack armed with a surgical hacksaw.

The point is you can be as much, or as little, of a douchebag in this game. And thatís what really makes or breaks online games like these: the players. With mics for everyone who can cop out 10 measly dollars for, you can get a lot going on. Surprisingly enough, my experience has encompassed everything BUT the drunken racist, misogynistic jocks that we get in xbox live with Halo.

The thing about this game that makes it so great is the improvements it plans to implement as well. Balance issues are virtually non-existant as the characters have been tested to death, and there will soon be unlockable weapons. Iím not sure what else we can expect, but with changes the said balance issues, among other things, could be thrown out the window. Itís not much of a criticism, because this game is virtually a development in progress, yet there arenít that many holes in it. With other online games like BF2142 you had clipping issues that needed to be worked out (and evidently STILL need to be worked out) since its release. Iíve only managed to run into a couple issues on the extremely rare occasion with this game, and I canít emphasize enough how much the overall enjoyment of the game overshadows it.

Thereís not much else you can say about a game thatís been worked on so hard, and improved upon in virtually every aspect, and perhaps even more so in the future. So Iíll just be a douche and rip at every single type of player in this game.

Although itís nice to assist others in a fight, itís about as useful as asking someone if theyíd like a glass of water while running away from a nuclear explosion. While itís good to stay hydrated while running, it does very little to help you well...LIVE. Amongst a giant firefight you may find your patients exploding around you, but itís not like you took a doctorís oath right? Not to mention the mingebags on your team blame you for all their pitfalls if they donít win. Because if one motherfucker thinks he can take a sniper round to the head with you healing him, they all fucking will.

Slow, Russian, and well slow. Itís fun to hear that satisfying thud when you manage to run up to an unsuspecting player and punch his lights out, but that is a rare occasion. The sad thing is youíre a waddling giant target out in the field, and you can guarantee that the moment you pop our bumbling body out in the open you can expect 50 rocks to be crammed up your ass. Despite your superior amount of HP, nothing survives a crit rocket to your face.

They easily have the best intro in the game, but also the cheapest motherfucker as well. Although itís uncanny to have 4 rockets crammed into one launcher, it never seems enough because the developers decided to let you fire crit rockets in succession with one another. Bodies go exploding everywhere when youíre around. The only downside is rocket jumping when you fire a crit one unintentionally, but you do fly farther....?

You camping piece of shit, when I get my hands on you...well you canít do much since youíre scoped. Easily a target for whoever gets through your tunnel vision, and itís not that hard depending on the map and your position. If you think youíre cool for being this guy though, trust me, youíre not. EVERYBODY hates you...

Same as above, you backstabbing cocksucker. (Wow Iím angry) Tip for those who are spy, when you cloak we can still run into you. Also, when you run into an enemy, continuing to move forward against him will not make you go through him via osmosis. Also: you look like an idiot.

Yeah glad that engineering degree taught you all you needed to know eh? The only problem is that when pushing you look like a moron standing at the spawn point proud of your fully upgraded turret, while your teamís screaming at you to drop a teleporter exit near the last capture point.

Apparently thereís considerable debate about this guy if he is in fact a guy, or even a minority group, thatís not black. I say tits or GTFO. This guy can be an engineerís best friend with his ability to set spies on fire on FF=Off servers, unless of course, that pyro IS a spy... Still, setting poor suckers on fire has its perks, unless of course they run into a medkit, which somehow stops the flames. Cause yíknow, band-aids heal everything (http://www.vgcats.com/comics/?strip_id=228).

Think about a kid hopped up on ADD, now think about him after taking the wrong meds. Now consider that he has had a large dose of caffeine injected into his main artery. All you need to do now is give him a sawed off shotgun, a pistol, and a baseball bat. God these fuckers can get annoying, but it sure is fun smacking them away when they try coming at you head first.

What makes you a good demoman? Stickies, glorious stickies. I spawn camped Castle with a demoman once, the only ones that go through were the ones smart enough to uber before they go through the spawn room door. These fuckers can just fire their explosives randomly into the air, and theyíre guaranteed to kill someone. Of course thatís all you can hope for, since you lack a yíknow...GUN

And Iím done!