Daeres
2nd February 2008, 02:06 PM
Welcome, to the land of Deathterratron... where dinosaurs, little green men and arthritic titans co-exist, far from peacefully.
In the legendary Mists of Time, out of the chaos that was Before, formed a planet. And lo there was water, and life, and beauty. And that planet was named Earth.
Then the Almighty started looking at porn, and listening to heavy metal, and playing Crackdown. And thus he made Deathterratron, a kill-fest incarnate. An anthem of glorious slaughter, a symphony of determined devastation, a waste of tax payer's money; Deathterratron is all these things, and more.
From the Land that Time gave no Budget, to the Lost City of Cardboard Sets, such feats of magnificence! A world of dark shadows, fearful monsters, and unrealistic dialogue to be matched by no others!
LOCATIONS
The Great Desert of Sand, a vast wasteland like a massive ocean of sand, is inhabited by the Giant Worms, fearful creatures, who will stop at nothing to consume any creature foolish enough to wear dentures in their presence, and the SuperMega AntAnts, radiation mutated Ants some 1000 times their normal size, with diamond edged pincers, eyes with steely determination, and bifocals bought at a discount from Specsavers. Rarely does any creature emerge alive...
The Mountains of Mist surround the Great Plateau, a curiously impassable barrier to all those other than poorly equipped and scarcely manned expeditions, who despite having no food mysteriously penetrate the otherwise impervious natural barrier. Inside you will commonly find Dinosaurs of a curiously violent tendency, possibly due to the Asbergers's Syndrome that also causes their curiously jerky movements. The Stereotypical Tribesmen of Terrible Wigs are also common features, with their unintelligible accents and their fear of guns. These noble savages often clash with the Dinosaurs over who's turn it is to mow the grass.
To the Indiscriminate North lies the Curiously Sparsely Populated City of SchmooSchmoo, often under ferocious attack from both Evil Cat Cats of Doomcat, and the regular terror of Bodhilla, who blames society for his arthritis, and tries his best to acheive widespread fear and destruction, bless his heart. He means well.
The Frequently Ignored Extinct Volcano of Lavalava is rumoured to contain a lab in which hideous experiments are performed upon human beings, resulting in abhorrant mixtures of Paris Hilton and Ben Elton, Michael Schumacher and a frog, crumpets and mayonnaise. Those few who return alive are scarred for the rest of their natural lives...
Under the volcano lies The Passage to the Centre. Which has absolutely nothing in it. Sometimes Bodhilla and the Dinosaurs meet here to play Poker, sometimes they host the Badminton World Ultra Series, it's just a general multipurpose sports and meeting venue. The place is run by the Man, who being a metaphysical creation of popular belief tends to be reclusive, and rarely signs autographs.
And there is much much more yet to be discovered. Deathterratron awaits you...
In the legendary Mists of Time, out of the chaos that was Before, formed a planet. And lo there was water, and life, and beauty. And that planet was named Earth.
Then the Almighty started looking at porn, and listening to heavy metal, and playing Crackdown. And thus he made Deathterratron, a kill-fest incarnate. An anthem of glorious slaughter, a symphony of determined devastation, a waste of tax payer's money; Deathterratron is all these things, and more.
From the Land that Time gave no Budget, to the Lost City of Cardboard Sets, such feats of magnificence! A world of dark shadows, fearful monsters, and unrealistic dialogue to be matched by no others!
LOCATIONS
The Great Desert of Sand, a vast wasteland like a massive ocean of sand, is inhabited by the Giant Worms, fearful creatures, who will stop at nothing to consume any creature foolish enough to wear dentures in their presence, and the SuperMega AntAnts, radiation mutated Ants some 1000 times their normal size, with diamond edged pincers, eyes with steely determination, and bifocals bought at a discount from Specsavers. Rarely does any creature emerge alive...
The Mountains of Mist surround the Great Plateau, a curiously impassable barrier to all those other than poorly equipped and scarcely manned expeditions, who despite having no food mysteriously penetrate the otherwise impervious natural barrier. Inside you will commonly find Dinosaurs of a curiously violent tendency, possibly due to the Asbergers's Syndrome that also causes their curiously jerky movements. The Stereotypical Tribesmen of Terrible Wigs are also common features, with their unintelligible accents and their fear of guns. These noble savages often clash with the Dinosaurs over who's turn it is to mow the grass.
To the Indiscriminate North lies the Curiously Sparsely Populated City of SchmooSchmoo, often under ferocious attack from both Evil Cat Cats of Doomcat, and the regular terror of Bodhilla, who blames society for his arthritis, and tries his best to acheive widespread fear and destruction, bless his heart. He means well.
The Frequently Ignored Extinct Volcano of Lavalava is rumoured to contain a lab in which hideous experiments are performed upon human beings, resulting in abhorrant mixtures of Paris Hilton and Ben Elton, Michael Schumacher and a frog, crumpets and mayonnaise. Those few who return alive are scarred for the rest of their natural lives...
Under the volcano lies The Passage to the Centre. Which has absolutely nothing in it. Sometimes Bodhilla and the Dinosaurs meet here to play Poker, sometimes they host the Badminton World Ultra Series, it's just a general multipurpose sports and meeting venue. The place is run by the Man, who being a metaphysical creation of popular belief tends to be reclusive, and rarely signs autographs.
And there is much much more yet to be discovered. Deathterratron awaits you...