View Full Version : just a spar to practice my RPiing

3rd October 2004, 06:35 PM
Cloud was aching from the long run he had just overtaking. he was ready to stretch out and practice his techniques. he new the best way to do this was to have a nice spar.Cloud had been just covered ove 125leagues in 6 days.
Cloud lay in a long flat green meadow sitting against a tree gazing out in the open until he fell asleep.

4th October 2004, 09:25 PM
Ok a couple of things:

First, perhaps you should type it in Word or a similar program that has a spell checker.

Next, at the start of every spar or quest when you enter you need to have a description of yourself. This is so the other person knows what you look like, and can react accordingly.

When typing you need to diversify your words, try not to repeat the same ones over, so that includes your name and he.

For the next post describe you character, what he is waring, how tall, etc.

(i will try and have my posts basic so that you can see what i do for the things above)

Two piecing blue eyes studied the area around them. They fell on a figure laying asleep under a tree. Reno moved toward the figure, his red hair tied back in a familiar pony-tail. The tanned skin on his left hand idly moved up and down the hilt of the sheathed sword by his waist. He bent down a little and looked at the man as he slept. The slight wind moving across the area ruffled the red Kimono that hung over his borad shoulders. He roughly kicked Cloud’s foot to wake him.

“You there, what are you doing?”

5th October 2004, 02:30 PM
OOC: alright.(you now cloud's sword off of final fantasy, well that is what my sword looks like =) )
IC:"Huh!" a 5.7foot tall man dressed all in black with spiked white hair looked up shockingly.His black eyes studied him for a second.Then grabbed his huge sword."And who might you be? My name is Cloud. Would you like to spar?"He said, still scanning the tall man.

6th October 2004, 01:21 AM
I have no idea about the sword from FF looks like.
To make it easier to read you can start speach on another line, eg

Bob looked at the man.

"Now you are in for it!"

Bob jumped...
With descriptions, try and describe him like you would a picture. eg

Cloud had spiked white hair. He was 5'7'' tall, etc.
On a side note, if you want to have your person say something you can either say:

Cloud wondered if he would be able to....

or you can put it in and have it like:

I wonder if i would be able to...

Both are exeptable.
This is the hard part of RPing, describing movements, you can try the movement yourself and then try and describe it, that is the easiest way.

Reno stepped back and looked at the man still lying on the ground.

"I am always ready for a spar, here seems like a good spot."

Reno turned and moved away from Cloud, giving them easily a five metre gap.

"Well? Are you going to get up?"

6th October 2004, 09:41 AM
OOC:alright ill try. And the sword is huge and requires to hands, it is about 4.5 feet tall and about 2 feet wide. and are we plaing with spells?
IC: Cloud casted his black eyes upon him.
"Dont rush me!" Cloud jumped up and completed a perfect spin slightly confusing the enemy. Then he took a step forward and swung his massive sword with all his might.
"eat that!"

6th October 2004, 11:06 PM
“And the sword is huge and requires to hands, it is about 4.5 feet tall and about 2 feet wide. “

Always try to post entirely IC, OOC: is more for comments and questions. So to placing it IC,

Cloud lifted his huge sword. The 4.5 foot blade was easily two feet wide… etc

“are we plaing with spells?”

Sure if you want

“Cloud casted his black eyes upon him.”

That is good

“Cloud jumped up and completed a perfect spin slightly”

This is a bit vague, there are millions of ways this could have happened, and by being descriptive it helps the other person react.

“confusing the enemy.”

This part is a big NO, you must never write that something happened to the other character. You RP your guy, while I RP my guy.

“Then he took a step forward and swung his massive sword with all his might.”

Try and add some direction to the attack, you can attack vertical, horizontally, diagonally and also from any direction and height. Eg

Cloud swung his massive sword with all his might, aiming at the legs of Reno the sword cut diagonally down at his right let.

I will assume that it was just swung left to right and at my chest. (your right to left)

Lastly remember that we were five metres away, like I said in my last post:

“Reno turned and moved away from Cloud, giving them easily a five metre gap”

You are getting better :D

With a grace like water spilling from a glass Reno drew his sword. The speed and beauty of the movement would lighten even the darkest heart. In less than a heart beat the smooth blade of Reno’s sword spun across in front of him. With left arm bent across his body and his right arm bent with elbow toward Cloud the blades struck. Reno knew that his sword could not take the powerful hit from such a huge blade so he has positioned it to divert rather than stop the attack. He flicked his blade up as soon as there was contact, the massive blade diverted up and over Reno’s head.

Bringing his blade around behind the blade of Cloud Reno turned his left side toward Cloud. He pushed with all his might at the sword trying to force it out and as far away from him as possible. Then taking his chance, he raised his left leg and kicked it straight out at Cloud, aiming for his unprotected stomach.

8th October 2004, 02:53 PM
Cloud was knocked back instantly almost dropping the massive sword. He quikly regained balance and took another swing this time gently swinging the sword towards Reno's knees then quikly moved the direction of the blow making it a diagnolly upwards hoping to land the blow in the upper-stomach and keep going until it hit his left shoulder(arm). The he quikly executed a perfect backflip landing a few feet away from Reno to maybe dodge a counter attack.

9th October 2004, 02:54 AM
OOC: much better, good use of strategy as well.

First, say how the kick connected, did it hit you where I had aimed, or perhaps you moved and it hit you somewhere else?

It doesn’t really have much effect here, but each post starts with your reaction to my post so:

Bob raises his stick and swings it down at Jack.

As Bob raises his arm Jack raises hit own and the stick hits it.

See there, Jack moves the same time at Bob, so you could have moved before my attack hit. But be careful that you don’t move too much, or else it can be very easy to God Mod.

A bit more description with the back flip would be good. They are hard to do in RL, and hence need to be hard to do in RPing. So for instance where your feet are, how you move, your balance and how you push off.


Reno took a step back as Cloud moved his sword in the feigned strike at Reno’s legs. Reno moved his sword so that the blade was pointed down, catching Clouds blade. Then Cloud moved in the real strike. The force moved Reno’s sword sideways making him lose grip, the hilt falling out of his hands and landing into the dirt.

If it was not for the sudden back flip from Cloud Reno would have been defenceless. Calmly pulling the sword from the ground Reno looked at Cloud, fire burning in his eyes.

21st October 2004, 07:02 PM
Cloud got a little nervous then swiftly ran to a tree and quikly climbing up it, he reached the top and looked down, he might be safe up there and he could execute a very strong attack possibly knocking Reno's sword down then fit in a nice combo to finish him off.Yes! This is what he would do.

22nd October 2004, 09:04 AM
“Cloud got a little nervous”

Why was he nervous? The eyes, the fact he picked up his sword.

“then swiftly ran to a tree and qui(c)kly climbing up it, he reached the top and looked down,”

How high is the tree? What shape, are the branches sparse, lots of foliage etc.

“he might be safe up there and he could execute a very strong attack possibly knocking Reno's sword down then fit in a nice combo to finish him off.”

A bit of a run on sentence, this could be the start of a new sentence. Because this is another ‘idea’ in the post you could start another paragraph.

“Yes! This is what he would do.”

You don’t really need to tell me this sort of thing. You could say that he is formulating a plan etc, but then this is just me being picky.

Basically be more descriptive, I can’t really do very much without making assumptions. The tree could be twenty feet tall, or six feet.

What you can do to force yourself to make longer posts is to have a character/word limit. About 500 characters would help you, that is about 120 words. After that it will just start to happen :D

My next post is short because it is just connection post, basically allowing you to post again.


Reno looked up at Cloud and sighed. He kicked at a tuff of grass, dirt spraying out into the wind.

“Come down, we can’t fight from there.”