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Jin_the_Legend
9th September 2004, 12:40 AM
Alright folks, I'm trying out my writing abilities in the form of Poetry rather then roleplaying. So quite honestly this is my first serious attempt at poetry. Keep that in mind if you are going to comment or critique it. I don't mind comments, suggestions or critiques of my poems but just remember I'm just getting started with this Poetry stuff. :D I'll update this first post with all of my poems that I compile over time. Enjoy!
*cough* Or at least try to*cough*
2



How can Words?

How can words describe your Beauty
Flawless frame and figure that exercises a sacred grace
Only meant for the celestials above
Envy pulses through their every vein looking down upon you in awe
You whose face is beyond words can speak,
It’s smooth and rich texture blends perfectly with your golden cascading hair
You who wields Perfection, Temptation and Desire

How can words describe your Personality
That which defines every individual, God has endowed rare qualities upon you
Your resolute sense of right and wrong in any situation fitting for only Legendary Leaders
A kindness that has no bounds and limits possessed only by angelic beings
The sincere and genuine warm love you show others all around you
And a wisdom normally only seen from individuals three times that of your age
You who commands our Respect and Love

How can words describe my Love
So passionate words can not even dream to comprehend
A defiant connection so deep and strong, it knows no limits
A desire so unwavering and solid has the ability to last an eternity in wait
An undying loyalty that seeks no other but you
A pure soul that knows no fear reaches out for it’s other half to share endless bounds in eternal splendor
How can words even begin to describe sweet wonderful you.

1

The Silence

Ever since my eyes met yours
I haven’t been the same
Every time I see you brings me back
Back to the day I first met you…

My slender hands gripped a few sheets of paper nonchalantly
Making my way up to the teachers desk but I was halted
Frozen in time for what seemed an eternity as I saw a figure enter the room in front of me.
Her graceful form and composure elegantly strode by as she began to turn her head
Following her head and eyes, I watched as they slowly were beginning to align with mine

For what was only a few seconds escalated into what would seem a lifetime
Slowly I felt my heart change within, from a steady space to a slow and pounding one
Heavy beats struck the inner walls of my body shaking me internally down to my core
My lungs only allowed me small amounts of air as I struggled to control my own breathing
Nerves began to fail as my legs and hands started to feel weak, so weak I barely noticed as my right hand let the papers drop
More and more pressure being forced down upon my legs, so much weight it took all of my strength to keep me upright
The room grew increasingly warm or so it seemed, tiny beads of sweat began to form under my arms as well as my hands and feet.
My eyes began to focus solely on the figure in front of me causing everything else to blur and fall victim to the surrounding void
In those mystical moments alone with her my mind raced. My thoughts all led me to one question in which I had no answer.
Who is this woman?

It is that question I still seek an answer to…

1

Moving Mountains


Do you know a girl with the heart as big as the sun?
I do
Do you know a girl with a mind as sharp and focused as that of a devoted scholar?
I do
Do you know a girl with a body only fitting for that of angels and celestials above?
I do
Do you know a girl with the image of an elegant and graceful Goddess only suitable for the likes of Heaven?
I do
Do you know a girl with a personality that can melt even the coldest of icebergs or cool off even the more intense heat sources?
I do
Do you know a girl with the kindness and caring so warm and peaceful it knows no limits?
I do
Do you know a girl with the tenacity and endurance to survive even the darkest of times?
I do
Do you know a girl with the modesty of a wise and humble elder?
I do
Do you know a girl with a soul as pure and clean only a divine entity would possess?
I do
Do you know a girl with the innocence of an unborn baby?
I do
Do you know a girl with the charisma and inspiration that could move the seas and mountains?
I do

Don’t you wish you knew a girl like I do?

1

Oblivion Awaits

Trapped…heh…the term hasn’t been anymore clear to me then now.
Where my vision gives way to black and my nose smells the sweet comfort of isolation.
Suffocating on which engulfs and confines me to my tomb, darkness prevails.
A place that knows no limits…but has enslaved me mockingly.

What cruel fate would have me bound to this hellish VOID!


Confusion and Hatred only tightens the ghostly grip this abyss has over my being.
A grasp only befitting the Angel of Death the Reaper of Souls.
Though my legs can not bare the weight of my demise, I will not fear what is my destiny.
Come on to me all that is wicked and evil. Darkness devour what I shall become if I remain.

I accept paradise. I accept OBLIVION!

1

A World of One

I have witnessed the dawn
I have witnessed civilization
I have seen the advance of technology
I have seen the trials of faith
I have witnessed travesty and murder, all things that are evil
I have witnessed compassion and self-sacrifice, all things that are good
I shall transcend time and defy death through procreation
I shall witness the dusk

2

ArchedEdge
9th September 2004, 01:17 AM
Wow, that's really good. You should try it more often. I think you could go far if you tried a publisher.

I could never write a poem that long about "how can words"

One thing, why did you call it enter the madness?

Jin_the_Legend
9th September 2004, 01:25 AM
Thanks, although I doubt I'm anywhere near as good as I would need to be to get published.

As for your question. Actually I guess I should have mentioned that in my first post.

I choose that title for my poetry thread because you are quite literally exploring my mind. You are entering into a perilous world and if you go too deep...I cannot guarantee your safety. Thus Enter the Madness is a name quite fitting.

ArchedEdge
9th September 2004, 01:31 AM
Good choice and nice words. I still think you could cut it as a proper author, your RPing is brilliant and so is your poetry. I've seen writers win awards with worse writing than you. You never know until you try. I'm looking out for your book or something... ;)

Jin_the_Legend
9th September 2004, 04:48 AM
I've never seriously considered writing as a career, it is an option though. Thank you for your kindness. I truly do appreciate it.

Here's a little something else I thought up. Once again it deals with the same person I mentioned in the first poem. As I said these poems directly pertain to me in some way or another. It's up to you guys as the readers to try and figure em out.

“The Silence”

Ever since my eyes met yours
I haven’t been the same
Every time I see you brings me back
Back to the day I first met you…

My slender hands gripped a few sheets of paper nonchalantly
Making my way up to the teachers desk but I was halted
Frozen in time for what seemed an eternity as I saw a figure enter the room in front of me.
Her graceful form and composure elegantly strode by as she began to turn her head
Following her head and eyes, I watched as they slowly were beginning to align with mine

For what was only a few seconds escalated into what would seem a lifetime
Slowly I felt my heart change within, from a steady space to a slow and pounding one
Heavy beats struck the inner walls of my body shaking me internally down to my core
My lungs only allowed me small amounts of air as I struggled to control my own breathing
Nerves began to fail as my legs and hands started to feel weak, so weak I barely noticed as my right hand let the papers drop
More and more pressure being forced down upon my legs, so much weight it took all of my strength to keep me upright
The room grew increasingly warm or so it seemed, tiny beads of sweat began to form under my arms as well as my hands and feet.
My eyes began to focus solely on the figure in front of me causing everything else to blur and fall victim to the surrounding void
In those mystical moments alone with her my mind raced. My thoughts all led me to one question in which I had no answer.
Who is this woman?

It is that question I still seek an answer to…
-------------------------------------------------------------

Alright I'll update my first post and add this one. However I'd like to explain this one, since it can be viewed in a few different manners. Basically in this poem he has only truly seen this mysterious woman once. And that was back in the classroom. Since then he's simply remembered the entire situation back in the classroom like it was yesterday. His memories have been the motivation and inspiration he's used to continued to try to find this woman because of how he felt during their first encounter.

On a side note I didn't go in great detail about her beauty or anything like that because of one main reason. Can anyone guess why?.....

Bingo, I was trying to convey the immediate connection he felt during the first few seconds. Quite literally it was her mere presence that made all those things happen to him physically and mentally. Whereas the unknown connection was actually spiritual.

Take advantage of these less confusing love poems because if I get into something more confusing, even I may not be able to explain myself.

Krystin
9th September 2004, 06:04 AM
Very awesome poems and what Arched Edge said....you should seriously consider being a writer. I'm quite impressed and moved by what you wrote. Very awesome.

ArchedEdge
10th September 2004, 01:10 AM
Again, very impressed. The second one was much better methinks. I prefer it at least. Try reading it through, without the thought that you wrote it and think of it as someone elses poem. Then read it. You'll see how really good it is.

Jin_the_Legend
11th September 2004, 07:19 PM
Thanks Again people. I really appreciate it. Too kind..too kind.

Alrighty this one is really basic but I still get my message across IMO. I'll update my first post now. Enjoy.

“Moving Mountains”


Do you know a girl with the heart as big as the sun?
I do
Do you know a girl with a mind as sharp and focused as that of a devoted scholar?
I do
Do you know a girl with a body only fitting for that of angels and celestials above?
I do
Do you know a girl with the image of an elegant and graceful Goddess only suitable for the likes of Heaven?
I do
Do you know a girl with a personality that can melt even the coldest of icebergs or cool off even the more intense heat sources?
I do
Do you know a girl with the kindness and caring so warm and peaceful it knows no limits?
I do
Do you know a girl with the tenacity and endurance to survive even the darkest of times?
I do
Do you know a girl with the modesty of a wise and humble elder?
I do
Do you know a girl with a soul as pure and clean only a divine entity would possess?
I do
Do you know a girl with the innocence of an unborn baby?
I do
Do you know a girl with the charisma and inspiration that could move the seas and mountains?
I do

Don’t you wish you knew a girl like I do?

Squidi
11th September 2004, 08:00 PM
Jin, you definately need to be a writer. Even if it isn't your main occupation, you definately need to write something, and publish it.

Locke
13th September 2004, 08:07 AM
I love your use of adjectives and description. The piece could flow a little smoother if you tried some different words though.

Jin_the_Legend
22nd October 2004, 04:01 AM
Thanks Squiddy and I'll keep it in mind Locke. *Ahem*

It's been awhile since I've done a poem but...try this one on for size. It's not a love poem...it's more of a spur of the moment kinda thing. Let me know what ya think. And do try to enjoy. Oh and I'll update my first post.


“Oblivion Awaits”

Trapped…heh…the term hasn’t been anymore clear to me then now.
Where my vision gives way to black and my nose smells the sweet comfort of isolation.
Suffocating on which engulfs and confines me to my tomb, darkness prevails.
A place that knows no limits…but has enslaved me mockingly.

What cruel fate would have me bound to this hellish VOID!


Confusion and Hatred only tightens the ghostly grip this abyss has over my being.
A grasp only befitting the Angel of Death the Reaper of Souls.
Though my legs can not bare the weight of my demise, I will not fear what is my destiny.
Come on to me all that is wicked and evil. Darkness devour what I shall become if I remain.

I accept paradise. I accept OBLIVION!

Jin_the_Legend
16th September 2005, 04:08 AM
A World of One

I have witnessed the dawn
I have witnessed civilization
I have seen the advance of technology
I have seen the trials of faith
I have witnessed travesty and murder, all things that are evil
I have witnessed compassion and self-sacrifice, all things that are good
I shall transcend time and defy death through procreation
I shall witness the dusk

1

Yet another oddly different piece. If you'd like, feel free to guess what I'm talking about, and what my message is to the reader.